2006...and whole new me!

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass”

Martin Mull

Most of my friends are split down the middle about my drinking and night habits. Half say I drink and party way too much. The other half (the ones that are out there with me night after night) think that I’m perfect the way I am. I was in that last category myself. But I’ve had to rethink that after the last couple of weeks. You might be thinking, how much trouble can someone really get into in two weeks? Let me tell you, if you are use to working 14 hours a day and then find yourself with 2 weeks off (PAID!) what else are you going to do with yourself? So I managed to find myself a little fun. Some may say a little too much fun! So for my 12 days of Christmas I got- sex with an ex, tequila shots with a high school teacher, a family friend for Christmas (eve), Mr. Rio Perch, a scheduling mistake resulting in two dates on the same night, Mr. Cutthroat Trout on New Year’s eve, a few bruises from surfing, an adventure rock climbing, a case of strep throat, many bottles of vodka, a couple of orgasms, a few drugs, many many hangovers, lots of stories and one trip to the ER… All in all not a bad Christmas!But after all of that, I have made a decision to slow it down for a bit. So far its one-week and counting. And most of my friendsmdoubted that I would even be able to last a day! But surprisingly I feel fantastic. Who would have thought that not drinking would actually make you feel better? So maybe I will actually be able to stick with this clean living life style. Though I wouldn’t bet too much money
Martin Mull

on it.

Mr. King Crab

“Sex with an ex can be depressing.

If it’s good you can’t get it anymore.

If it’s bad, you’ve just had sex with an ex”
Sex and the City

I spent last night with Mr. King Crab. There’s my confession. I know have a tendency to go back to an ex when I find myself single and lonely. Let’s just say these men are my Achilles Heals. Yesterday after months of King Crab trying to get back into my life I finally relented. I found myself in Arizona over the holidays missing Mr. Scorpion Fish, and spending my first holiday in years alone with him. So when King Crab called on Christmas something inside of me kind of melted. But to understand why King Crab is different from all the dramatics of the other ex’s, let me first explain a little bit about him. King Crab could also be called Mr. First. He’s the first guy that I ever slept with. At (gasp) 23. We had been friends for over a year at the point. Met when we first work on a stunt show, he was a jet-skier I was a lowly wardrobe girl. And at the time I was sort of dating one of his friends. And I can tell you he’s one of the only people that I can remember exactly what happened when I met him. I was sitting outside and here walked up this guy I had never met who invited me out drinking with him that night. I of course said no, but later in the week found myself at a party with him. After talking to him for the bulk of my night he programmed his number into my phone. I just laughed. I would never call him. But over the next year we stayed friends. Hung out a lot. Partied together. Went jet-skiing. But nothing more. Until Saddle Ranch opened up at Universal. And next thing I know we were hanging out every night there, drinking lots and lots of AMF’s, dancing, laughing and before long making out on the dance floor. Now he wasn’t perfect. And we never had a conventional relationship. But he was perfect for my first time. Patient. Sweet. And more importantly waited an extra month after I was ready because he didn’t want me to regret it. He also refused to have sex while I was drunk. So one fateful morning we woke up and I finally had the sex. My first instinct was, that’s it? And then well let’s try this again. And so our relationship grew. And over the years we have gone back and forth. He was the catalyst for me sleeping with my second and third guys (Mr. Summer Flounder and Mr. Puffer Fish). We’ve fought. Yelled. He’s the one who set me up with Mr. Rio Perch. And despite all the dramatics we’ve remained friends, including the requisite calls on every holiday. So it’s really no surprise that when he made his holiday call I made plans with him. And the night was very uneventful. He came over to watch a movie. I met him at the door wearing just a bit of lingerie. And the rest you can say is sexual history. It was nice. Nothing spectacular. But that’s how Mr. King Crab and I always are. No bells and whistles. Just comfort and old friends. He will always be in my heart but will never be the one. Everyone has called him my "Mr. Big" or my soul mate- but I've always known he isn't either of those. Just someone I will always remember fondly and yes my friends are right and he will probably be at my wedding, but someone who is not destined to be the groom.

Gidget does Christmas

“Surfing is like making love. It always feels good,
No matter how many times you’ve done it”
Paul Strand

People ask me all the time why I love California so much. And you only have to look at a day like today to understand why. 80 degrees at the beach with a perfect swell coming in, 10-15 foot waves breaking perfectly. Now that might seem like a great summer day to you, but it in fact is a fantastic winter dream! It’s 33 in New York, 21 in Chicago and currently 79 in Malibu. This is why I live in California. Anywhere else I would be bundled up in my winter warmest looking like Ralphie from A Christmas Story and instead I am taking out the Bikini and getting some sun.It’s 4 days till Christmas and instead of making a snowman I’m planning to head out of work early (gotta love those Hiatus weeks), grab my board, my wetsuit and my new man and heading up to County Line to enjoy the waves. Looks like Santa is bringing me just what I want for Christmas- Some warm weather, some breathtaking waves, and Mr. Rio Perch. What more could I ask for? I may not have the feelings for Mr. Rio Perch like I did for Mr. Scorpion I wonder if I ever will. Or if I will ever get over this feeling of emptiness that I seem to have since he left. But for now I’m enjoying uncomplicated. And a little uncomplicated and fun is just what I need right now. Looks like this is shaping up to be one hell of a winter break…

The end of another romance

“There are plenty of good ways to break up with someoneand it doesn't include a Post-It.”
Sex and the City

Carrie Bradshaw might have gotten a post-it, but all I got was a text message. Which actually was fitting since Mr. Scorpion and I spent more time text messaging than we did in person. I’m not surprised it happened. I knew it was never going to work out. He lived a state away and neither of us wanted anything long distance. I always knew he would start to see someone else, after all he starting seeing me when he had a girlfriend. I always knew it was casual. I even spent Saturday night getting to know Mr. Rio Perch a little better. But surprisingly it still hurt. I always thought that if he and I ever got our shit together at the same time we would work out. Turns out we both were ready for a relationship at the same time, the only problem was I was ready for one with him and he was ready for one with someone else. We always did have bad timing.As I sat in the Phoenix airport drowning my sorrows (and a few tears) in my beer I started to think about the men in my life. The one’s I’ve thrown away, the ones that have thrown me away, and those few that have stuck with me through all of them. I’ve met some amazing guys, and some not so amazing guys, but I’ve never met Mr. Right. I’ve meet Mr. Right now but the actual Mr. Right has alluded me. Normally a break-up would have me giving up hope that my true soul mate is out there, but I spent the weekend with two couples that showed me what it really means to be in love, my parents and my grandparents. I flew out to Ohio over the weekend to spend time with my family and to be there while my grandmother had surgery. It wasn’t a major surgery, but she’s been in bad health so any surgery turns into a major operation.

My grandfather refused to eat while my grandmother was in surgery. Even after she was in recovery he wouldn’t eat until she woke up. We sat there from 6 in the morning until she woke up at 2 that afternoon. Everyone coming and going to pass the time. But he wouldn’t budge. And you should have seen his face when she finally woke up. It was an expression of true love that I’ve never seen. And as soon as he got to her side, she grabbed him around the neck, pulled him towards her, and gave him a romantic only seen in the movies kiss. After 60 years they are just falling more and more in love with each other every day. And while she slept he just sat there staring at her face. One hand holding hers and the other rubbing her hair. The rest of us read, and talked, and watched TV. But he would just sit there and watch her. Her guardian angel.That night I watched my parents leave the hospital holding hands. After 40 years they can’t go more than a few minutes without touching each other. Last weekend they had to sleep on couches since there weren’t enough beds for everyone. But they refused to sleep on separate couches. Instead they even slept head to foot on the couch so they can fit. I asked my mom, why not sleep apart. She responded, we don’t sleep apart. It’s amazing that after all those years they still crave each other’s touch.After spending time with them I realized soul mates really do exist. Sometimes you find your soul mate when you are in kindergarten, sometimes you find them right next door, and sometimes they find you when you least expect it.

Ooops...

“I’m at home alone and as hard as a rock just thinking about you…”
-From Mr. Scorpion Fish

When did we start to be reachable 24-7? When did we need to be able to check our e-mail while we were at work, in the car, at a bar, even surfing? When did even a phone call became too much and we started to rely on text messaging as our only means of communication?

Now I am the queen of being lazy. I have my cell phone attached to me at all times. I check my e-mail every 15 minutes. I text message more than I call people most days. Although I don’t know if it is so much about being lazy as having to multitask. We can now check our messages while out grocery shopping. Return calls while walking the dog. I even was able to have text-sex this week while at a run-thru. It’s a matter of trying to pack as much you can into your day.

But this week I learned my lesson. From now on if I need to talk to someone I will be doing it face to face without the hindrance of technology. While texting back and forth with a friend, the person I was talking about somehow got the text. I found this out when Scorpion Fish sent me a text me back: “So why aren’t we having sex for Christmas”! Now it could have been worse. It could have gone to my father or an ex, but it still put me in an awkward position. Not only did I have to explain what I was talking about, but I also had to explain why I was talking to his cousin about our sex life. All in all, not the best situation.

So learn from my mistake. Talk to your friends face to face. Take them out for coffee or a beer and really catch up. Don’t rely on messages sent by your phone or your computer. Don’t send out that mass e-mail. Catch up with the friends you haven’t seen in person. You will actually be able to find out what is new with them instead of just informing them the quick version of your life. And if you have to use the phone to talk to them, do it when you have time to really chat. Don’t do it from your car, or your office, or just before you head into the gym. Take an hour and really see what they’ve been up to. Trust me, you have more time than you think you do. Stop making excuses. Call them. See them. And if you do you might be surprised with the results you get.